Alan Alda, in his new autobiography Things I Overheard While Talking to Myself, said that some of our most important conversations are conducted in the doorway and follow the phrase, “Oh, by the way.”

Alda says that after spending the evening with the family there may have been something you’ve wanted to say for the last several hours but you don’t mention it until you have your coat on, you’re walking out the door, and then you turn and add, “Oh, by the way….”

Leaving your client’s office, as you’re shaking hands and saying your good-byes, you may throw out, “Oh, by the way there’s been a delay in the delivery schedule.” That’s why you really scheduled the appointment. All the conversation preceding it was just to soften the blow.

“Oh, by the way,” cuts to the chase. Maybe sometimes we should use this idea more often to get to the point sooner.

On your voicemail message, instead of leaving a lengthy message, play the words out in your mind first and then add, “Oh, by the way, the reason I’m calling is because….” Now when you call, lead off your real message.

For example, you’re calling a new friend you met at a recent chamber meeting with a referral. Your original message may have sounded like this.

“Hi Karen. This is Jim. Remember we met at the chamber breakfast last week? Man, wasn’t that speaker good? I like what he said about the ‘get out the vote campaign’. I remember once….”

By the time you get to the referral, her mind has wandered off to greener pastures.

Start with your OBTW statement first. Oh, by the way, “I’ve got a referral for you. This is Jim and we met at the chamber breakfast last week. Give me a call at 555-1212 and I’ll give you the name.”

Life is full of OBTW advice

What were some of your most important OBTW statements you’ve given or received throughout your life?

One I heard often during my teen years: Oh, by the way “…what were you thinking!”

One OBTW comment I’ll make to someone who asks why they should buy my book is oh, by the way “…you can learn over 300 lessons in a few hours that took me over 30 years and millions of dollars to learn.”

I’m constantly looking for OBTW nuggets hidden in the many books I read. Barbara and Allan Pease (Why Men Don’t Listen and Women Can’t Read Maps) said the most difficult OBTW statement for men to make is oh, by the way “I’m sorry.”

Malcolm Gladwell, in The Power of Simplicity, says, oh, by the way “…the information that most organizations need already exists. But finding that information is the hassle. Most people are either in a hurry, or they don’t know where to look.” Unfortunately, it looks like the founders of Google found this OBTW nugget before I did.

Willie Nelson’s OBTW advice for me in The Tao of Willie, is oh, by the way “In Nashville, we were taught that the shorter you can make a song and still get your point across, the better the chances of airplay.”

Oh, by the way. I appreciate you taking the time to read this article.

© 2008 Jerry Hocutt, Hocutt & Associates, Inc.
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